Creating a One-Sentence Summary of Your Story

I'm back on res at my university, at long last! This week is ressie o-week, next week is the university o-week, and then the week after that is when our classes finally start. As you can imagine, I am very busy socialising and catching up with returner-ressies and meeting/befriending/trying to mother the new ressies, so I haven't had much time to think of blog posts, much less write them... so here's one I prepared earlier! 

I am sure I am not alone in the world of writers in saying, although I am thrilled when people are interested in my writing, I kind of hate it when someone asks me what my stories are about. Thinking of a quick one-sentence summary for your story on the spot is sometimes really hard, especially if you're still in the writing, editing, and redrafting stages. I am among those who do not think of summaries until it's time to start querying. In my head, of course I know what my story is about! But putting that into a coherent one-sentence synopsis for a curious friend, especially on the spot, is really hard. I'm not even sure I could do it once I have started querying.

Anyway, I was talking to a friend about university. He is a bio-med student and so we were asking each other a lot of questions about each other's subjects. Of course, mine led to revealing that I write novels in my spare time. He asked me how many novels I'd written and I told him I'd written three. Then, the dreaded question: "What are the stories about?" 

I floundered for a moment when I first read the question and might have cursed at my smartphone a few times. Then I realised that because this wasn't a face to face conversation, I didn't have to panic and rush to give him an answer. I took a few minutes and thought about it, and surprisingly enough came out with a quick little one-sentence summary for each of my three novels. They weren't perfect explanations, but I was pretty proud of them. 

'EVERGREEN': In a fantasy world where the magical trees that provide life are suddenly failing, a prophecy names the three children of the emperor as the saviours. 

'KATHERINE': A girl starting at a new high school makes two new friends who help her through much family drama. 

'WALLS': In an alternative world, a refugee girl meets the son of the rebel group leader responsible for uprooting her family. 

They aren't perfect little summaries by any means, but if I can memorise them for future reference, I think they would be sufficient answers for curious friends asking what the stories I've written are about. 

What are your stories about? Feel free to leave a little one-line summary in the comments if you can think of one, I'd love to read them! 

- Bonnee. 

Reading and Writing Goals, 2013

I know it's over a month since everyone was supposed to set their New Years resolutions, but I was wondering who out there had a goal they wanted to reach this year in the department of reading and/or writing?

Due to my university course, I'm probably going to write a LOT! The fact that I'm studying writing is definitely a good thing. Coursework aside, I want to finish my current W.I.P, 'WALLS', re-add the scenes I cut from 'KATHERINE' and submit it to agents and/or more competitions. Towards the end of the year, I would also like to get back to 'EVERGREEN: A FALLEN STAR', as I believe I am already closer to having what I need to make it worth reading. But I'm going to let that last won sit until I've finished the year at uni first.

In terms of reading - for recreation, not for studying - I am aiming for at least two books every month. I've already knocked off four, so twenty more to go. Fingers crossed that I well and truly out-read my goal for the year, but here's a look at what I've read and what to read.

1. The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
2. Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins
3. Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins
4. V for Vendetta, the graphic novel Alan Moore and David Lloyd
5. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson (Currently reading)
6. The Girl who Played with Fire by Stieg Larsson
7. The Girl who Kicked the Hornet's Nest by Stieg Larsson
8. Life of Pi by Yann Martel
9. City of Bones by Cassandra Clare
10. City of Ashes by Cassandra Clare
11. City of Glass by Cassandra Clare
12. City of Fallen Angels by Cassandra Clare
13. City of Lost Souls by Cassandra Clare
14. Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice
15. The Wise Man's Fear by Patrick Rothfuss
16. The Host by Stephanie Meyer
17. The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner by Stephanie Meyer
18. Darkness, Be My Friend by John Marsden
19. Burning for Revenge by John Marsden
20. The Night is for Hunting by John Marsden
21. The Other Side of Dawn by John Marsden
22. The Death of a Salesman by Arthur Miller
23. Inkspell by Cornelia Funke
24. Inkdeath by Cornelia Funke.

Well, that's my current list, though there's no guarantee I might not swap some of those books around. I need to read and finish a few series this year... And of course, I will be leaving a review for every book I read, both here and on Goodreads!

What's everybody else's reading and writing goals looking like? Please share!

- Bonnee.

School, University, Writing: Update!

So I figured that, because I pretty much disappeared off the face of the earth for the past little while, I ought to give you a run-down on what's been happening on my end.

It's the last week of term, and then I'll have a two week holiday (in which I am required to attend practice exams at school and commit myself to a lot of private study) and then two more weeks of classes before, boom, it's over. My first exam is on November 1st. So I'm studying up and I'm going to have to read over the texts I'm writing on for my English and Literature exams. But that's okay, I'm happy. It's just scary and stressful, but I know that I can do this.

But then come my applications for university next year. I've been saying I'll do the Bachelor of Professional Communications and Diploma of Professional Writing and Editing and my mum really wants me to do it because it's closer to home than most other things I've been looking at, and my auntie lives close to the campus so I can stay with her (not likely, I'm not staying in a household with two of the most out of control kids to ever exist..). But I've been looking more closely at the other courses I've got on my list, and I want to do Bachelor of Arts (Professional and Creative Writing) more.  Problem? Apparently so, because it's "too far away from home". Well, I like this course more, I can actually major in what I want to major in (editing) and I WANT to move to the city, even if it is away from home. *sigh* Family dramas...

On a more positive note: I've written some more on Katherine. Slow and steady wins the race: I have eight or so chapters with word-counts around the 1000-2000 mark. Study comes before writing at the moment, but I really want to finish it in time to submit to a Novella competition my teacher gave me info about. Hopefully I don't overshoot the 20,000 word limit...

Meanwhile, a fanfiction I've been working on over at my Fanfiction.Net account is going well, and I'm thinking of transforming it into an original (it already basically is, I'm just using the characters to my favourite T.V show instead of making some up).

I've also made a pretty big decision about Evergreen. I'm putting it on hold for now. No matter what university course I choose, I'm going to improve my writing and editing skills. Evergreen needs a lot of work, and there is a lot I want to change, add and take out. I'd like to get those skills under my belt before I cause any damage. My mind is racing with ideas and I want to make this manuscript the best it can be before I throw it to the sharks at an agency. So wish me luck.

So that's my run-down. What's everyone else been up to lately? I apologize for not reading other people's blogs lately, I'll come back to you all soon. But please do expect an inconsistency in my attention to Blogger until after my exams.

- Bonnee.

Writer's Update: 100%

First of all, I'd like to apologize for being absent from blogspot for the last little while. I'll come and read peoples blogs again soon!

Secondly, I'm proud to announce that I finished reading In Cold Blood by Truman Capote. While it was really had to get into, I ended up thoroughly enjoying it. I am studying this non-fiction novel for literature. It's the last text we study this year, and I will be doing a close analysis on it and some of William Blake's poetry on the exam. I'll recommend this book. There is a lot of seemingly unnecessary detail, but it's all part of the style and Capote's aim to communicate the facts of the Clutter family and their murderers.

Next, I'd like to brag: Remember how I mentioned that for my literature assessment after studying Haruki Murakami's short stories from the collection after the quake, I had to write a short story mimicking his style? Well, I got my results yesterday. I got 100% and I was over the moon about it. Literally did a bit of a happy dance and almost cried. Ha ha :)

In other news, I wrote another chapter of Katherine, accepted the fact that I need to put Evergreen away until I have more time to concentrate on the edits and started writing a new fanfiction for the first time in like, two years. Any Avatar: The Last Airbender fanfic readers out there? The link to my FanFiction.Net profile is in the Find Me tab.

That's all this little author has to share for now. What has everyone else been up to? Promising to come and read everyone else's blog soon!

- Bonnee.

Motivating Small Children to Write

Joseph Ramirez asked me to do a guest post on his blog about the three 'teachers' that have influenced my writing the most. Go check it out!!! :) 

Speaking of teachers... My mum is a primary school teacher and asked me the other night if I could print out old drafts and current drafts of some of my stories, including Evergreen, so that she could show her kids how a story develops, from initial writing, editing, rewriting and repetition of the process. The aim of this is to motivate them with their own writing work and encourage them to actually put some effort in when they proof-read, editing and rewrite.

She wants to read a chapter of Evergreen to them every week... At this point, Evergreen has a pretty poor sense of consistency due to the amount of changes I've made in the first chapter alone, and the lack of editing I've done in the rest of the story.

I wonder how this will turn out :) 

- Bonnee. 

Be Inspired Bloghop Meme

Thank you to JeffO for getting me into the Be Inspired Bloghop Meme. I couldn't decide whether I wanted to answer these questions according to Evergreen: A Fallen Star, or Katherine, so I've decided to do both. Hope nobody minds, and if one doesn't interest you, ignore it and concentrate on the other! :)

1. What is the name of your book?
Evergreen: A Fallen Star
Katherine

2. Where did the idea for your book come from?
Evergreen - I always loved Asian cultures as a child, especially Chinese and Japanese, and I am slightly obsessed with anime. When I was originally writing fanfictions for Avatar: The Last Airbender, I ended up thinking of a completely new character who I made the childhood friend of one of my favourite characters from the series. In my head, I turned him into a character of my own and made them siblings, and then my brain continued working from there.

Katherine - I thought of how different some people live their lives compared to me within their family and saw that some people had it pretty rough at home. I wondered, what would that be like? What would I do if I was put into this situation, or that situation? I took parts of my own life and created some things I haven't experienced in reality, and put them into a character, and put her into a not-so-perfect life.

3. In what genre would you classify your book?
Evergreen - Fantasy, with a lot of adventure and family orientated business about it. For teens to young adults.

Katherine - In all honesty, I'm not completely sure what to classify this as. The story revolves around the issues of family and friendships and there is a touch of romance to it. Again, aimed at teens to young adults.

4. If you had to pick actors to play your characters in a movie rendition, who would you choose?
Evergreen - See, if this became a movie, I'd want it to be animated. I wouldn't have a CLUE who to cast for Chihiro in live-action OR for a voice actor... Zutto, I'd definitely had Dante Basco for a voice actor, but no clue who to choose for live-action. And Sakura... do you think I could shrink Hayley Williams to the size of a 13 yr old?

Katherine - No idea. They'd definitely all be Australian actors though, seeing as the book will actually be set in Australia.

5. Give us a one-sentence synopsis of your book.
Evergreen - The children of the Imperial Family embark on a life-changing mission to save the life-source of their world; the Evergreen trees, which keep the Middle Kingdom safe.

Katherine - An angry teenage girl learns the importance of friendship despite knowing she will always have to say goodbye as her family constantly relocates to start over.

6. Is your book already published?
I wish, goldfish!!!

7. How long did it take you to write your book?
Evergreen - First draft completed within 7 or 8 months of starting. Three years down the track and I'm still editing.

Katherine - Incomplete, so I can't tell you. I wrote nearly four chapters in two weeks when I first started though.

8. What other books within your genre would you compare it to? Or, readers of which books would enjoy yours?
I never say "people who read this book will like mine" because I don't believe it will necessarily be true. But I would compare Evergreen to... well, I'd compare parts of it to The Chronicles of Narnia and certain themes to similar themes in Harry Potter (though I can only dream of being the next J.K Rowling...).

As for Katherine, I think I'd compare it to The Story of Tom Brennan by J.C Burke. I haven't developed the ideas enough to tell you any more than that for certain.

9. Which authors inspired you to write this book?
Evergreen - To be honest, I couldn't tell you to be exact. Cornelia Funke enthralled me and I fell in love with the idea of writing fantasy, although I wouldn't compare my book to any of hers that I've read.

Katherine - I can tell you honestly that I was inspired to actually go ahead and start writing it after I read Love-Shy by Lili Wilkinson a few months ago. I hadn't had a chance to read inside the relatively normal life of a relatively normal Australian teenage girl before receiving a copy of this book. And as I said above, J.C Burke's story was a big boost for me too.

10. Tell us anything that might pique our interest in your book. 
Evergreen - There are some interesting twists along the way to saving the world, but I don't think I can explain this without giving too much away. There are witches, wolves and some interesting 'people' and a whole new world for the Imperial Children to explore, somewhere out there.

Katherine - Some of my characters have a thing for making raspberry and white chocolate muffins. Because I felt like making raspberry and white chocolate muffins when I started writing. So there.

Now I have to tag five people to participate in the Be Inspired Bloghop Meme:
Giora
Fiona
Mark Koopmans
Peggy Shumway
Rick

Amateur Shortcomings

So apparently it's pretty hard to come up with something really original to write about, but people saving magic trees has made the list, according to Aaron. While the idea for Evergreen seems to be promising, it looks like I've got a hell of a lot of work cut out for myself if I want to make this one work.

Yesterday, I took some time to read through the prologue, and I decided to make it the first chapter. I wrote an extra 500 words, and changed about 1000 others, bringing the total to just over 2500. A lot is about to change. I'm going to further develop my characters and my world and see what I can salvage from what I've already written. Looking over it, I'll agree with Aaron when he says the way I've written it seems amateurish. I started writing it when I was 14, so I guess that's not a total surprise. Aaron had already read some of my more resent work, and in comparison, what he's read of Evergreen isn't what he's come to expect from me. I need to change that. 

I also need to bring some more consistency to the tone of the narrative. Writing fantasy... it's either Lord of the Rings or Chronicles of Narnia. Yes, there is a middle-ground, but Aaron has pointed out that I tend to be going from one extreme to another. The overall tone seems to be more Narnia. I want to aim for more of a middle-ground, though if all else fails, then my own personal flavour of Narnia it shall be. But consistency is necessary. 

Slow and steady wins the race. It's makeover time for Evergreen. This might take awhile. Wish me luck!

- Bonnee.

And Edit I Shall

This is me being being an editor for my mate, Micah.
This is an excerpt from his WIP, Klown.
Click to enlarge. 

For those who read my previous blogpost and/or might be wondering, Bonnee, why don't you just start querying already? I'd just like to explain myself here.

Yes, I said a month or so ago that I would be querying by now, and starting to get serious about my next WIP, Katherine. But the bottom line is that Evergreen is not ready for an agent or a publisher to see. If you read my last blogpost, let me say this now: The Hero's Journey steps are only part of what I need to fix. Aaron is the first person to read Evergreen and bring this much helpful criticism to the table for me, and knowing him the way I do, I respect every word he is saying because I know he reads great fantasy novels and he is good at analyzing things like this. If he sees shortcomings, weak points, potholes and so on, then all he needs to do is point them out and I can see them too.

I'm sorry to be prattling on about Evergreen for so long on this blog. I'd really love to move on with my writing, but Evergreen is my first child, and I need to get it walking and toilet trained before I can send it to preschool... if you'll pardon the analogy.

It took Patrick Rothfuss fourteen years to get his first novel The Name of the Wind published, and he became a bestselling author. He overstepped his deadline for the sequel The Wise Man's Fear by several years in order to make it awesome too.

Edit I must, and edit I shall. How long have you all been working on your current manuscript? 

- Bonnee.

Writing: The Hero's Journey

My boyfriend has been reading Evergreen: A Fallen Star and has given me some constructive criticism. Yeah, Shaun was a great proofreader, but he didn't offer any advice on the story itself, which is what Aaron is now doing. We spent at least an hour on Monday talking about my writing, and especially Evergreen.

Allow me to share an AWESOME link he found for me, and something he's known about for a long while: the Hero's Journey. This is a sort of guidelines to writing, and it's perfectly applicable to Evergreen. We have agreed that not all steps are completely necessary, and you could probably mix the order up a bit, but overall, these are some good rules for a writer to follow.

I've evaluated Evergreen using this list and there are some things I'd now like to change, add, fix and omit. I suggest reading the explanation of the steps before reading any further. I found some of the titles a little misleading, or very focused on certain aspects of the definition.

Call to Adventure. Definitely there, but I need to think about where the pinpoint is.

Refusal of the Call. Oh my God, where is it? I NEED to fix this! How utterly STUPID of me!

Supernatural Aid. Got it. But she needs more merit and depth. I'll work on it.

The Crossing of the Threshold. It's there. I'm not sure if I'm satisfied with it or not, but I've got it, and I'll see what I can do to work on it.

The Belly of the Whale. Got it. Perhaps it needs a little bit more depth though. We'll see what I can do!

The Road of Trials. Heck yes! Though I'll admit now, it seems I've used something rather cliche in there, and apparently there were a few unclear moments of happenings... by my own evaluation, I'd like to go into more depth in how it tests my protagonists individually, in their heads. Something for me to work on, but at least it's there.

The Meeting with the Goddess. I don't really think it's there, though I'm not sure it's necessary for Evergreen. This is one of the steps that Aaron and I think is okay for me to miss at this point. Either that or I've severely misinterpreted what it means. Well, fingers crossed, and perhaps I'll evaluate this situation again soon.

Woman as the Temptress. I think I may kind of have it sort of somewhere in there. But I'm not 100% satisfied with it by any means, if it is really there. I need to give my protagonists a reason to want to quit half way. Which I'm pretty sure I have. What I REALLY need is to SHOW that they want to quit half way, which I feel I haven't done.

Atonement with the Father. I am actually quite lost in putting this one against what I have of Evergreen. There is something that I think could pass off as this, but I'm really uncertain. Something I will have to discuss further with Aaron.

Apotheosis. I have it for certain. This is one of the parts that I'm ALMOST completely happy with. And I shall say no more on it.

The Ultimate Boon. Yes, yes, yes. This is also a part that I'm reasonably happy with. Though I do believe there is still room for improvement.

Refusal of the Return. Does a moment's hesitation for a reason I will not mention for fear of spoiling way too much count? If not, I don't think it is quite necessary in Evergreen.

The Magic Flight. Yes, I have this. I think the order here has been swapped with the Refusal of the Return though. Do anyone think it matters significantly?

Rescue from Without. Yes. BUT. I'm honestly thinking of scrapping what I've got on it. The idea I had seems too childish, too stupid, too far-fetched. I need to know WHY I have it in my story, and to be perfectly honest, and although I am ashamed to admit, I'm not so sure that I do. So unless I can figure out a reason why and adapt it, it will be changed. This step IS necessary, and so there is no way I can just cut it. But I need to fix it at the very least. I am NOT happy.

The Crossing of the Return Threshold. Yes, but I'd like to give it a major face-lift.

Master of the Two Worlds. I'm not entirely sure if or how I've applied this step to Evergreen, but there's a nagging voice in the back of my head saying, "Bonnee, you need that step!" So I'll be looking into this one again later.

Freedom to Live. Yes, I have my happily ever after there for you all to read when it's perfect and published in 1000 years when I've finally accepted that any more revising will kill me. Or IS it a happily ever after, hmm?

As you can see, I've already got some major editing to do and so my plans to send out queries very soon has gone down the drain. Aaron has been very helpful and given other pointers too, which I intend to look in to. I'll share some of those another time. I know it's bad to get stuck in the process of redrafting over and over again, but truth be told, this is the closest thing to any real criticism I've had, and some of the other blogs I'm reading are advising to get that second pair of eyes on your manuscript before querying. But that's a whole blogpost  in itself*, so I'll leave it at that!

When writing, do you follow any steps like the Hero's Journey? How might you compare what you have in your manuscript to the steps of the Hero's Journey? 

- Bonnee.

* Question me on my decision to continue editing instead of querying when I make a blogpost about it. I'd like to keep comments for this post focused on the Hero's Journey if I could. 

Know Why in Your Writing

My boyfriend started reading Evergreen last night and messaged me asking why the setting was called the Middle Kingdom. The question caught me off guard because it had been so long since I'd thought of why. But I did know the answer, luckily. I would have been quite disappointed in myself if I hadn't.

For those of you who hadn't caught on, Evergreen is set in an alternative universe which is heavily based on eastern Asian cultures, particularly Chinese and Japanese. My mum was always a huge fan of foreign movies, and so as a child I watched many subtitled movies on the SBS with her. In many of the Chinese movies, China was referred to as the Middle Kingdom.

In 2009, the year I began writing Evergreen, I left Australia for the first time in my life and went to China for 10 days. I didn't get to see anything beyond Shanghai, no thanks to a certain swine-flu pandemic and the infected boy who sat next to me on the plane over. But just the fact that I was there, in a place that my imaginary world was inspired by, was enough to keep me going. I will go back to China one day and see all of the things I missed out on. We were supposed to go to Xian and Beijing before we came home.

Photo taken from observation deck (94th floor?) of the Shanghai World Financial Center.

This morning when I opened my laptop, I clicked into Google and decided to find some wiki-proof that China has been known as the Middle Kingdom. I was surprised to find that Egypt and India had also adopted similar ideas as countries. But here is the article I found about China which explained the situation best.

Moral of the story: Make sure you know your own reasons behind putting something in your writing. I'm glad I did.

- Bonnee.

A Big Decision

Something I have considered doing with 'Evergreen: A Fallen Star'. To some, it might not seem like much, but you've got to keep in mind, this novel is like a child to me.

Last year, I began to write the sequel, based on one little unanswered question I'd left in 'A Fallen Star'. But after writing the first chapter of the sequel, I've been considering using it as the opening chapter of both books. The reason I'm considering using it as the first chapter in both books is that it makes this one unanswered question not seem so random. Reading over the manuscript for 'A Fallen Star', if I didn't know the story better, I may have thought I'd left the question unanswered by accident. Of course I don't want to come across as incompetent to my readers, including agents and editors and publishers. But I want to repeat the chapter at the beginning of the second book as well, just as a memory refresher, just to reinforce the ideas and information presented in it.

I've seen something similar done before. Patrick Rothfuss opened the first two books of his 'Kingkiller Chronicles' similarly. 'The Name of the Wind' and 'A Wise Man's Fear' both start with the description of a silence of three parts. It works amazingly in his books. Read his books.

Even if I use this chapter as a prologue rather than a chapter. I just feel the need to give my readers the information in what I wrote sooner than the second book. I'll have to get my trusty little helper Shaun to give it a read and give me his verdict. I'll ask around for some other opinions too.

Any thoughts from the blogosphere?

- Bonnee.

To Write, or Not to Write?

That is the question. I may have recently watched an episode of Dr Who where The Doctor and Martha go back to when Shakespeare was alive. Good episode :)

ANYWAY! I will finish editing 'Evergreen'. I have the last seven chapters to go. And my little proofreader, Shaun, has already read over the thirty I've already done. I promise I'll get it done, and write up queries and start sending them out to agents...

But I may have started writing a new story. Yes. I definitely started writing a new story. Thursday two weeks ago. I'm such a terrible person, putting 'Evergreen'  aside again. But I had an idea, and I needed to get it down on paper, so I though I'd start writing... and I did, and now I'm probably about half-way through the fourth chapter. We'll refer to this new project as 'Katherine', though I'm not satisfied with the title being the name of the protagonist. I'll let you know if/when I think of something better.

Aside from the three and a half chapters I have written for 'Katherine' I've also written a synopsis (my way of planning, at least for now), and I may have started a character profile thing which I probably won't complete. This isn't going to be as complicated as 'Evergreen' was. Much to Shaun's disappointment, 'Katherine' is just a straight out YA: no fantasy. I don't know if I'd class it any more specifically than YA. There's a girl with some relatively normal teenager issues, and some issues that are a little less common. A lot of family and friendship orientated stuff, maybe a splash of romance, among other things. That's about all I can say for now without giving away too much.

But just for you guys, here's my opening sentence. Tell me what you think after reading it. Feel free to give suggestions and whatnot. Thank you in advance.

Katherine gazed out of the passenger window as the car rolled into the driveway of the new house; the seventh new house she’d moved to since she’d started high-school three years ago.

 Anyone else want to share the first line of their WiP while we're here?

- Bonnee.  

A Terrific Tuesday!

Well today has been quite full of reading/writing related business. 

I prepared for my literature SAC (School Assessed Coursework... these are like tests), which meant highlighting important quotes in the screenplay Bastard Boys by Sue Smith. Tomorrow we have to write an essay discussing a prompt in terms of the views and values of the characters. It shall be interesting. 

After that, I thought I'd get ahead in literature and start reading over the poems by William Blake which we will be studying next. I didn't enjoy reading from Blake when we studied him earlier last year, but this time around, I seem to have more of an appreciation for him. Half of the poems we are studying are the ones we touched last year, but we didn't do any sort of assessment on them last year; we just touched on them. This time we're going into detail. 

Once I was done with the poetry, I had a bit of time to kill before lunch and decided to jump on a computer and do some more recreational writing. I have now finished editing 26 out of 37 chapters of Evergreen: A Fallen Star, and I also started writing a short story which I've titled Lost in Paradise. You'll hear more about both of these another time! 

Last but not least, today was the English SAC. We had to write a context response to a prompt, incorporating themes from the text The Rugmaker of Mazar-e-Sharif by Najaf Mazari and Robert Hillman. The awesome part about this SAC was that we could choose our form; expository, persuasive, or imaginative. I, of course, chose imaginative, and wrote a kick-arse short story of roughly 1000 words in 100 minutes. And I was pretty proud of it. Hopefully it will give me a good mark. Should I share it with you guys when I get it back from marking? 

Who else got up to some exciting stuff related to what they're passionate about? Please do share!

- Bonnee. 

Dots or Commas?

Just yesterday, one of my friends asked if he could read my manuscript. I know this kid likes reading, so I gave him a copy and told him to let me know if he finds any mistakes. Well... he's done a great job so far. He'd read the first 12 chapters by this morning and came to me with a document of things I could change: spelling, wording, punctuation... mostly stuff an author misses in their own work, because they know how it's supposed to read and automatically reads it as such.

There were some suggestions I disagreed with however, but there was one particular instance which I thought I'd get a few more opinions on before I decided whether or not to go with it. A piece of the manuscript reads:

 "... oh my, my, my, my, my," she mumbled... 

My friend's suggestion is that instead of commas, I should use three dots (...). I disagree with this, but with a reason. I intend the reader to hear this being said very quickly and I believe that using the three dots will make them perceive this bit of dialogue as said slowly.

Is my reason valid enough, or do you think that it would be punctually incorrect for me to use commas instead of dots in this instance?

* Please note: the (...) at the beginning and end of the quote are not part of the original text. They are simply being used here to show that this is not the whole sentence the quote was taken from.  


Your input and thoughts would be lovely and much appreciated.

- Bonnee.

This and That About My Writing

First up, here's the most current version of the excerpt I posted from my manuscript a couple of posts ago, after a few people gave me some good feedback:

It was warm inside the Training House. The room was large, with tables and chairs against one wall. A stone fireplace crackled with life at the far end of the room. The three children walked into the changing rooms at the back of the building where they put their training gear on. Their uniforms were white, but Chihiro’s uniform had a golden insignia of an Evergreen Tree sewn into its back and on its breast, signifying that she was a Master of the Arts, just like Master Yuusan. Her siblings were still only students. The last parts of their uniforms were their belts: all black.

Feel free to give me more feedback!

Question: Should I workshop snippets of my manuscript on my blog again? What do you all think?

In other news, I won a free signed book, which I think is pretty cool: Love-Shy, by Lili Wilkinson. I read a snippet of it on her blog which I enjoyed and I am looking forward to reading more!

Last up, I finally finished reading The Rugmaker of Mazar-e-Sharif by Najaf Mazari and Robert Hillman, which I am studying in English this term. And I am now a quarter of the way through a screenplay which I am studying in literature: Bastard Boys by Sue Smith.

And just because I managed to edit another three pages of my manuscript since the last blog post (good effort, I know right?), here are the last few characters who I managed to visually create using THIS programme.

Madam Koi: This is the closest I could make her. Her hair is meant to be really crazy! But otherwise, this is pretty cool. I love the way I was able to make her eyes.

The Witch of the White Lands: Again, best impression, but I'm quite pleased with it. The programme didn't offer black lips though.

The Witch of Thorns: I can't complain that much about this one. She's not that big of a character in A Fallen Star, but I do plan on making a sequel in which she plays a much bigger role. I just thought I'd make her too because the programme wouldn't let me make male characters and I was really bored.







Enjoy!

- Bonnee.

Trump Cards of the Slack

Happy Easter, folks!

So I managed to go from following 60 blogs to following 89 in the space of an hour on Good Friday. Damn you Jane Friedman for posting so many good links... The number of blogs I follow has since increased. I have probably just signed myself up for a suicide mission, as I wasn't reading all of the new posts from blogs I was already following... and I've just increased my list by half. Oh well! The more resources the merrier! :)

In other news, I have been such a slack writer/editor person and hardly touched my manuscript whatsoever since before the Easter school holidays, except from the little workshop I did on the short passage I posted last blog entry. And now we are more than half way through those two weeks of freedom from school. I'd like to blame the amount of holiday homework which was mercilessly dumped on me, but in all honestly, I've hardly touched that either. Oops...

So here is my blog-worthy trump card. A few years ago, during the inception/first draft of Evergreen: A Fallen Star, I stumbled upon a female anime creator on deviantART which I can no longer find the link to (if anyone recognizes the programme and knows where I can find it, a link would be lovely), and so I created some of the female characters from Evergreen to the best of the programme's and my own combined ability. Here are the results.

Chihiro: I could only find long hair which was straight in this programme, so this is as close as I could get. I would have liked to make her hair a bit wavier, curlier, crazier... not over the top, but with a little bit more life. Now that I look at it, her eyes and eyebrows are not right. At least not this combination. Her eyebrows should be more raised; she's supposed to be a confident character. This picture highlights her motherly/gentle side more than her overall personality does. The smile is right though, and I can't complain about the rest.

Sakura: This is probably the best visual recreation of any of the characters that I could generate. Her hair should be perhaps a touch darker, and I wrote it as braided, not like this. Otherwise she is perfect and I lover her too much for words.








That's all for now! Tell me what you think of these characters and I will get back to you soon (either next post or the one after that) with a few more visual recreations of my characters.

- Bonnee.

Edit: Thank you to Giora for helping me find the programme which I used to create the visual images of these characters. Please click here to check it out! 

Apparent Link and the Lucky 7 Game

First of all, this is the link I was given for my short story 'Walking to the Shop', which was recently published in an online magazine (see previous blog entry for more details):  http://digital.spineout.com.au/#folio=5

For some reason, the 5 keeps changing to a 1 when I open the link and I keep getting a message saying 'Undefined'. When I try accessing it through the spineout.com.au site, it comes up with a message saying 'Your session has expired. Please login.' I wouldn't mind so much if there was a login/create account page. If anyone can figure this out for me with some mad computer or hacking skills (or skillz, whichever you dawgs prefer) that would be great :) 

IN OTHER NEWS! I was just reading from Elizabeth Norris's blog where she talks about the Lucky 7 Game, which is apparently going around writer circles at the moment. I thought I'd try it out for myself :) 

What to do: 

1. Go to the seventh or seventy-seventh page of your WIP.
2. Count down seven lines.
3. Copy the seven sentences that follow and post them.
4. Tag seven other authors.  (I don't think there are 7 authors who come to this blog often enough for me to do this part, so whoever wants to try it can try it!) 

This excerpt is from page 7 of Evergreen: A Fallen Star, which I still consider a WIP because it's still being edited. Please note that this passage may be subject to change. 

It was warm inside the Training House. The room they stood in was large and had only a few tables lined up against one of the walls and some chairs stacked beside them. A stone fireplace crackled with life at the far end of the room. The three children walked into the changing rooms at the back of the building where they put their training gear on. Their uniforms were white, but Chihiro’s uniform had a golden insignia of an Evergreen Tree sewn into its back and on its breast, signifying that she was a Master of the Arts, just like Master Yuusan. Her siblings were still only students. The last part of their uniforms were their belts; all black. 

I'll admit now that this was originally one of the passages I liked least, and although I've done lots of work on it (it was a lot longer than this at first) I'm still not 100% satisfied with it. I'd love to hear your opinions here, any criticism is more than welcome. Just to show you what I'm talking about, here is the same passage from the first draft (yes, I still have the first draft which was completed in 2009. What of it?)

It was toasty inside the Training House. The room they stood in was large and had only a few tables lined up against one of the walls and some chairs folded up beside them. A fire place with a safety guard crackled with life at the far end of the room, keeping it warm. There was a door on either side of the back wall, leading into change-rooms. The teenagers and their little sister headed for those doors, Chihiro and Sakura to the left door and Zutto to the right, crossing the smooth wooden floor as they went.
Inside the change-rooms, they all went to their lockers. Chihiro was locker number four. Sakura had the twelfth locker and in the boys change room, Zutto had the ninth. A uniform for each of them was locked inside their locker, shirt and pants of orange with blue collars. Well, Sakura and Zutto had a blue collar, but Chihiro’s collar was golden. A gold collar symbolized that they were Master Students of the Training House – a Master of Kung Fu. Sakura and Zutto were not yet Masters. When they became Masters, they would be presented with a new shirt with a golden collar.
Quickly, the three of them got changed from their day clothes into their uniforms. The last thing they pulled out of their lockers was their belts – all black.

Your thoughts? Which version did YOU like better? What should I still be changing? Would you guys be interested in seeing some more old draft/current draft comparisons like this? Because I might be interested in doing it.

Once again, CRITIQUE PLEASE!

- Bonnee.

My Canon of Literature

After reading a blog by The Bookshelf Muse last night, about 'canon of literature' I had a bit of a think about it. The blog entry I read explains that your canon of literature is a list of books out of all that you've read which touched you so deeply that you still go back to them years later. The Bookshelf Muse blog explains that it is important to identify your own canon; it shows where you came from and what you value as a writer.

So today, I thought I'd share my little list. I'm only 17 and was not a big reader as a child, so it's not an extensive list at this point. But here it is.

Jenny Angel by Margaret Wild. Yes, it's a picture-story book, wow! This was illustrated by Anna Spudvilas and I remember first reading it in yr 2... well, I remember my teacher reading it to the class. And I remember thinking that it was beautiful. After I moved schools and began to hang out in the library a lot, I remember seeing it when I was in yr 7 and picking it up to read it, because of all the books from my childhood, I remembered it. Since finding it in my school library, I have returned for the pleasure of reading that book over and over and over again. It's a sad story about a girl who's little brother is sick, and she believes that she is his guardian angel and can save him. Now I see that I value sibling relationships in my writing, which is very evident in my novel Evergreen: A Fallen Star, where the three protagonists are brothers and sisters, yet best friends all the way. I will eventually obtain my own copy of Jenny Angel... it's been a whole 10 years since I first read it and I'm still in love with it.

Dragon Rider by Cornelia Funke. I read this for the first time in yr 6, so I was about 12. How many times did I read it? At least 5 in that one year. It's by the same author who wrote the Inkworld trilogy (Inkheart, which I also loved, and Inkspell and Inkdeath which I am yet to read). This story is about a silver dragon and his brownie friend who are on a mission to find a new place for the other silver dragons to live safely, because humans are invading their home. On an epic journey to the Himalayas, they befriend a human and a manikin worker of their enemy; a gold dragon, who's diet had consisted of silver dragons until they had disappeared. Obviously fantasy and friendship; topics which I love to write. The idea of the epic journey to an unknown place, and an enemy who remains unknown to the protagonists for a long while, is found in Evergreen: A Fallen Star. I will admit now that the copy of Dragon Rider I own is actually my mothers, but she's never read it and never will, and I doubt she'll notice it's absence now that I've abducted it from her bookshelf and placed it on my own.

Hitler's Daughter by Jackie French. I read this first in yr 5 (so I was 11 yrs old) and I didn't understand much of it at all. But what I did understand, I enjoyed, and I fell in love with it completely two years later, when I had to study it for English at school, and understood it better. A girl tells her friend a story as they wait for their bus to take them to school; the story of Hitler's daughter. As far as her friends are concerned, it's just that; a story. But one boy is suspicious and curious and wants to know more, undecided on whether he believes the story to be true or not. All the while, the story is told beautifully to the readers as they flash-back through time to World War II. The end of the story has that good old sting-in-the-tail effect and leaves the readers unsure of how fictional the story is too. I can't think of any examples where this books has been reflected in Evergreen: A Fallen Star, except that on more than one occasion, stories are told between the characters. I did have a copy of this book at some point, but it's disappeared off the face of the earth. I'm pretty sure I gave it to my best friend's little brother when he had to study it for English a few years later, and I never got it back because the friendship fell apart and I am no longer on speaking terms with that family. Damn...

So that's my short list of canon literature, and my little rant about it. Has anyone else read any of these books? What about you guys, what do your canon lists consist of and why? I hope to add more titles to this list in due time.

- Bonnee.

21

I have now edited 21 out of 37 chapters in Evergreen: A Fallen Star and man do I love/hate this book. There has been so much re-writing and shortening and taking away of fluffy, pointless, good-for-nothing sentences, scenes, moments and the like. I cannot believe I thought the book was so much as 'good enough' not to mention 'publishable' in September last year, and I'm so glad I've decided to look over it again.

With more than half the chapters edited, and important plot and character development dead ahead, I can't say that I'm not excited to edit more, more and more. It's gotten to the point where I'm editing when I should be studying. No, that's a lie; it was already at that point. Maybe it's because I'm thinking about it more that I deceived myself into thinking otherwise. Either way, I'm too keen for life right now and I cannot wait for people to be reading it and giving me feedback.

I wonder if there are a few people I actually personally know who would be interested in giving Evergreen: A Fallen Star a read. I already gave last draft to one of my teachers (kudos to Mr Gorton), but I've ordered him to delete the file after I got to about chapter 12 of editing. And my beautiful friend Rachelle has also offered to read it, but once again, she has the old draft, which I have told her she shouldn't bother with. I'll definitely have to ask!

- Bonnee.

The Weird and Wonderful Ways of Writers: With Hana Brightside

A quick recap: last blog entry, I spoke of a conversation with my friend Hana and explained the art of writer role-play. This post is about one of my writer role-play experiences.

Wild and wonderful as Hana and I are, we decided to have our first Skype conversation together and try a bit of a character role-play workshop, where I was Chihiro from my novel Evergreen: A Fallen Star and she was a character from her current writing project; the historical character Billy the Kid. It was an awkward and short lived conversation that was sidetracked by spiders and dinner, but it was totally fun and totally worth it and we're totally going to do it again. 

I do believe that this is one of many examples of the weird and wonderful ways of writers. :) 

Anyone care to share any of their own wacky experiences or tactics? 

- Bonnee