ANYWAY! I will finish editing 'Evergreen'. I have the last seven chapters to go. And my little proofreader, Shaun, has already read over the thirty I've already done. I promise I'll get it done, and write up queries and start sending them out to agents...
But I may have started writing a new story. Yes. I definitely started writing a new story. Thursday two weeks ago. I'm such a terrible person, putting 'Evergreen' aside again. But I had an idea, and I needed to get it down on paper, so I though I'd start writing... and I did, and now I'm probably about half-way through the fourth chapter. We'll refer to this new project as 'Katherine', though I'm not satisfied with the title being the name of the protagonist. I'll let you know if/when I think of something better.
Aside from the three and a half chapters I have written for 'Katherine' I've also written a synopsis (my way of planning, at least for now), and I may have started a character profile thing which I probably won't complete. This isn't going to be as complicated as 'Evergreen' was. Much to Shaun's disappointment, 'Katherine' is just a straight out YA: no fantasy. I don't know if I'd class it any more specifically than YA. There's a girl with some relatively normal teenager issues, and some issues that are a little less common. A lot of family and friendship orientated stuff, maybe a splash of romance, among other things. That's about all I can say for now without giving away too much.
But just for you guys, here's my opening sentence. Tell me what you think after reading it. Feel free to give suggestions and whatnot. Thank you in advance.
Katherine gazed out of the passenger window as the car rolled into the driveway of the new house; the seventh new house she’d moved to since she’d started high-school three years ago.Anyone else want to share the first line of their WiP while we're here?
- Bonnee.
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I think sometimes it's good to let yourself get distracted like that. Editing can kill your creativity if you're too swamped by it, so it might restore your enthusiasm for 'Evergreen' if you spend a little time writing something new.
ReplyDeleteI like the opening sentence! Perhaps work with a colon instead of semi-colon, to make it more of a declarative statement ': it was the seventh house she'd moved to since she started high school year years ago'. I think the colon would convey a better sense of frustration (I imagine Katherine is frustrated, I would be if I were constantly moving house!). Hope that helps, Bonnee.
I thought something like that too. Late time I lost it for 'Evergreen', I was straight back into it after a little bit of a distraction. Maybe this will get my through the final haul.
DeleteColon works for me :) "Frustrated" hardly scrapes the icing off the cake for Katherine and the constant moving is only part of the reason why. Thanks Fiona!!!
I find the first part of the new sentence runs maybe a little long. BUT I'm intrigued. Seven houses in three years is a lot. Why so many? What's the deal? I'm interested.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Fiona, it's good to keep the creativity going. I just hope you don't find yourself two months from now saying, "Yeah, I'll get back to Evergreen...soon." Maybe you need to set some kind of time limits, devote x minutes to editing and y minutes to the new work. Good luck with it, sounds like it's off to a good start!
JeffO, I hope to get the editing of 'Evergreen' finished in the next four weeks, because in two weeks my school holidays start (and the school holidays last for two weeks...). Hopefully it'll be over with during the holidays, and I will have sent out some queries.
DeleteI'm glad you're intrigued. Surprisingly, this sentence took a lesser amount of thought than I had believed it would. The first part definitely needs some working on, but as long as I have you hooked, I know I've got the gist of things right at least! :) Thanks.
Nice opening line, Bonnee! I look forward to seeing more of the first paragraph.
ReplyDeleteHere are the opening lines, for my WIP, followed by the context:
Let me tell you what I saw last night.
I looked through a pulled curtain, saw the dark swirls of white snow blown about by something wild that screeched and danced through the asphalt parking lot, and I was glad to be inside.
Let me tell you what I heard last night.
I lay in bed with my eyes closed, heard the creaks and groans of the earth crying for release from the bitter cold of an unexpected storm, and I was glad to be warm.
Let me tell you what woke me last night.
Something cold and probing reached beneath the covers to find me, and it touched me on the shoulder in the way that death must mark its victims.
When I woke, I was glad to find myself alone.
102,000 words in and editing, editing, editing.
That's a lot of words... good job, I say!!! This certainly leaves the reader in suspense. I like the rhythm you've got going there too. Thanks for sharing. Do you have a name for your WIP? :)
DeleteHello Bonnee- It's titled "Borgo." (from the novel "Dracula," - it's the pass in the Carpathian Mountains that is the point of no return between the worlds of darkness and light.)
DeleteI'll have to read "Dracula" some time :) Awesome title Rick. :)
DeleteYou've got some intriguing projects, Bonnee. Awesome! I find your first line interesting, and I agree with Jeff. Keep it up! :)
ReplyDeleteThank you David! :D It's so good to hear your encouragement.
DeleteHi Bonnee. It's a nice opening. You might want to change it into " ..as the car rolled into the new house's driveway." Book publishers will decide about the title for your novels, so calling it KATHERINE is okay. Both of my novels now have the heroine's name as the title. My advice is to first finish EVERGREEN and then to send queries about it. You don't have to edit everything. If you have the first 50 pages done well, you can start sending queries to test the water. Unless your EVERGREEN is superb, you'll find that the process of queries,rejections, queries, rejections .. till a literary agent will sign you is a long process. So while you wait for one agent to take you .. you can write KATHERINE. It's good that you have already another book as work in process. Agents like it. They want to sign someone who will write a few novels, and if possible many many more.
ReplyDelete"... as the car rolled into the new house's driveway." That might help with the wordiness of the opening. Thanks for your suggestion Giora.
DeleteI understand the task ahead of me will probably be quite drawn out. Indeed, I am aware that agents aren't looking for one-off writers, and I don't intend to be a one-off writer by any means. Writing is my life and as soon as I push Evergreen into the sea for the agents to have at, my focus will go to Katherine. :)
And here is the start to my WIP named PETRA (after the 17 yrs old heroine)
ReplyDeleteI make coffee to take it out in a paper cup and walk out to the streets of Manhattan, ready to meet my friends David and Alexis. They are my gang.
Thanks for sharing your opening line :) So from the first line, I can already tell your main character drinks coffee, lives in Manhattan and has friends named David and Alexis. I'm guessing their somewhat close if they're "gang".
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